Your party mustn’t be very good if you have to snapchat me all of it
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
if u are about to get stabbed just say “I have too much swagger for the dagger” and they will leave u alone
— F. Cabanes (via 5weetsorrow)
I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.